i'm really sorry markus...

...but the messenger kinda sucked.

in case you've missed all of the 18 million times i've mentioned it, the book thief by markus zusak is the most amazing read of all time (according to me, of course). so i was excited but nervous to give the messenger a crack.

i've just finished it*. i closed the cover on the final page and exhaled a little 'eh'. it was so uninspiring. which couldn't be further from how the book thief made me feel.

and i guess that's part of the problem. the expectation. but while i certainly had high hopes, i never thought it would, never thought it could, match the book thief.

the thing is, the messenger was still superbly written. i was continuously struck by zusak's unique style. his blatant risks. but the story line was so....juvenile.

then i wondered: did zusak intended for me to read the messenger?

see, the book thief was billed as a novel for young adults. i didn't know this before i read it which is good because it would have turned me off. instead i was inspired to the core. it's just so damn amazing.

a quick wiki search and i found the problem. the messenger, a multi-award winner might i add, is a children's book.

ahhh, thanks for sharing, markus.

on the surface, nothing about this book - it's cover, it's marketing, it's prime position at borders - indicated i was barking up the wrong tree. and i am disappointed because the cynical me reckons that was calculated. that it was a ploy to rake in cash off the back of the book thief.

and hey, i'm sure it's working and making you big bucks. but is it worth harming zusak's reputation? mmmm.

i can't even be bothered reviewing this. why relive when it was such a bland experience in the first place? i have moved on and alice in wonderland is the beneficiary.

if i want to read a children's book, i'll do it properly, thank you very much.

*where just equals weeks ago.

looks like ross geller was right

has anyone ever told you...?

facebook says it's doppelgänger week. and if facebook says it's doppelgänger week, well godammit, it must be doppelgänger week.

karls here took this info and ran with it which i thought was a good enough idea to steal. thanks pal.

i've been told i look like a few famous people in my time. i also believe there's a not-so-famous person traipsing around sydney who looks like my twin. and i look heaps like my sisters. apparently.

i don't see it but you never do, do you?

anyway, chase cutting. most recently i've been told i look like rachel stevens.

rachel who? yeh, i know. that's what i said. best known for s club 7 although she's still pretty famous in london, where i kept (does four times count as kept) getting told i looked like her.

of course, this picture is completely hot and looks nothing like me. but when you google search someone famous, you tend to get all their portfolio type shots. anyway, i kept scrolling in search of something more natural and found this puppy:


yeh, still not seeing it.

next up:


yeh, blonde. i know. but the clarification is always that i look like a brunette version of kristen bell. actually, i am spinning the facts. i have never been told i look like kristen bell. i have, on a number of occasions, been told i look like veronica mars though.

then i went blonde for a while and the comparisons increased.

i'm still not seeing it and ps: i am totally taking the piss in this photo, in case you thought i was one of 'those' girls.

anyway, i've also been told i look like neve campbell and missy higgins, but not enough times to warrant a photo tribute.

i have, however, been told i look like this spunk rat numerous times.

but her fashion sense is way better than mine. that's about it for me. but there one more thing. one thing i must share. it's about the boy. or, more specifically, the boy's doppelgänger. hell-o henry ramsy.

a day later: the more i look at that veronica mars pic, the more i freak out. i can totally see me in that now.

mmm, crunchy

i don't write much about sport anymore. well, i guess i never really did. here that is. i think it's a hangover from my previous life as a sports journalist. it just feels too much like work when i start getting my sports yarn on.

but a couple of issues from the wide world of sports have evoked...well...grrrr, in me lately. i'll share.

firstly, fucking pakistan. the cricket team, not the country. they've been embarrassed in both the test and one-day series here in australia. but that's not a problem. why would it be? of course, i want australia to win and, to be fair, pakistan are struggling a little and i have a soft spot for any underdog.

well, almost any underdog.

based almost solely on captain mohammed yousuf, i couldn't care less about pakistan's plight. that man is an arrogant twat. he led that team dreadfully. he placed outrageously questionable fields. he showed no fighting spirit.

and then this.

that's shahid afridi and yes, he's biting the fucking ball. he replaced yousuf as captain in the final one-dayer and, like yousuf, led by example. that's is if the example you aimed to set is how to blatantly cheat.

i seem to get a few american readers here at camelshoes and i know you guys don't do cricket. a quick lesson. like baseball, it's a bonus if the bowler (pitcher) can get the ball to spin (curve). unlike baseball, a cricket ball, more often than not, will bounce before it reaches the batsman - so, by biting the ball, afridi is manufacturing spin. or cheating. it's known as ball tampering.

it's done. but it's usually a sneaky because it's, you know, against the rules.

this dickhead just bit the ball like it was a fucking apple. in front of a live crowd, the working media and a national television audience.

post-match, afridi told a journalist he did not put the ball in his mouth.

"no, i was trying to smell it and see how it was feeling," he said.

when the journo suggested teeth are not used for smelling, afridi responded: "sometimes you can do".

from one dickhead to the next. hi willie.

it's just weeks until the 2010 NRL season kicks off but this guy's still desperately looking for a club because he's been burning bridges everywhere he goes.

i didn't really care about his plight, until now. the cowboys, my cowboys, have now expressed an interest in signing the hulking forward.

willie mason is nothing more than a trouble-making egomaniac. the cowboys already have one of those.

johnathan thurston might be (arguably) the best player in the world, but he's the worst thing for that team, in my humble opinion.

if the cowboys sign willie, i don't think i'll have it in me to maintain my support. and i don't think i'll be alone. let that be a warning to you, nq.

blog-draw-graphy mondays

yeh, okay. not exactly a photo. but it's so cute and it's still a

picture so let's all agree to roll with it. okay? good.

nomnomnomnommmmm

DISCLAIMER: i am re-reading this and trying to work out whether mum bloggers are going to get the shits. instead of delete things i have already written, i will just say, i don't think poorly of mums who blog. i like good writers regardless of what they do. there are plenty of great blogs written by mums. i'm just not at the "baby's first steps" stage of my life so don't always relate.

scrolling through the blog world, i find about 90 per cent of blogs fall into two categories: mums and cooks. nothing wrong with that. just an observation.

for me though, as a reader, mum blog rarely hook me. i mean, if you're a wonderful writer with some sass about you, and you happen to be a mum, you could win me over. but if you're just talking about first steps, words and other cute-sy stuff, all power to you but i'm just not interested.

as for the cooking blogs, i'll usually have a bit of a scroll until a pretty dessert catches my eye. i'll suss out the ingredients and, 10 times out of 10, move on without taking any notes. still, they get a few minutes out of me which isn't bad in blog terms.

on that note, i decided i wanted to share a recipe with you. i'll never be the author of a cooking blog. i'm a foodie, but it's more the eating than the preparing for me. it's not that i don't cook, or don't enjoy it, it's just that i am time poor and find myself prioritising other things.

that's why this recipe suits. it's so damn quick and easy. not to mention scrumptious. and yes, i can call it my recipe because i altered the original to better suit me. straw clutching. i know.

so, to make my peppermint slice you'll need:
3 x peppermint crisps
1 x packet of butternut cookies
1 x can condensed milk
1 x block cooking chocolate

and you'll need to:
blend the biscuits into crumbs
chop up the p. crisps
combine in a mixing bowl
add condensed milk and combine
line square/rectangular tin with baking paper
spoon mixture in, spread out etc etc
refrigerate. best to leave it overnight
melt the chocolate and cover
refrigerate.
cut into squares (or just pick up the whole slab and eat. eat. eat)

ps: it should look like this.



pps: the coolest thing about this recipe, my recipe, is that it features in an actual cookbook. it's called breathing life back into the kitchen. it's written by my auntie. it's awesome. and it's available in all wonderful book stores, other fantastic homewares stores or right here.

first day of school (oh my, don't they grow up fast?)

a red delicious apple for the red, delicious teacher.

congratulations and all my love to you on your first day of school: teacher's edition.

i'm sure you felt a similar combination of nerves and excitement when you made your first classroom debut 25 years ago.

and i bet it took you a matter of seconds to feel at home among new friends and peers.

today won't be different.

you'll kill it. and you'll love it.

{and i'll love watching you love it}

running through the fields...

...we never had a reason to be scared of things...

i can see your breakfast, sweetie

i have just received confirmation that, yes, i am old.

i had a meeting. it was at the cafe up the road from the office. it required a 10 minute walk which turned out to take me through hundreds of youngens (and a few way-too-oldens) en route to the big day out.

i cursed my timing and pressed on. it was entertaining at least. but i've got to say, about 80 per cent of the girls (99 per cent of the skinny ones) were wearing jaw-droppingly little.

the most obvious trend was the short shorts. now, let's get one thing clear. i am a huge fan of short shorts. i own a few pairs and (when i am at my 'acceptable weight', which is about four kgs lighter than i am now) i wear them all.the.time.

but these aren't your regular short shorts. these are shorts that are cut, without a hint of exaggeration, like undies. not boyleg. not briefs. more like frenchies. check it.


okay, so most of them have nicer bums than this girl but still, you get my point. and i've got to say, this photo doesn't even do it justice.

and if you think that's a decent wedgie, there were plenty of cameltoes to be seen on the concourse today too.

what is it with young fashion these days? and who put the old woman's dress code in my brain?

but hey, live and let live, no harm, no foul and other cheesy proverbs.

you make me happy, when skies are grey

it's a blog award. it was bestowed upon me by kellyansapana. thanks muchly.

the first rule of the Happy 101 award is to list 10 things that make me happy. so i shall do so. now.

one. it's the first thing that comes to mind and it's pretty darn obvious. it's the boy. he's wonderful for a million reasons. he makes me feel deliriously happy. he makes me feel completely safe. it's the best.

two. coffee. it's not the flavour or the caffeine. although those things are great. it's what coffee represents to me. it's comforting for one but, more significantly, for me it's about connecting. connecting to your own thoughts. connecting to your friends. one of life's most simple pleasures is sharing a coffee with a mate. some of the conversations i've had over a flat white or two have been...god, they've been so many things. important, necessary, memorable, hilarious, path-finding, life-changing. i feel similarly about red wine so i'll throw that in here rather than repeat myself below.

three. what came first, the laughter or the happiness? regardless, i'm claiming laughing as one of my top ten. how good is it? even when the time's not right for a joke, there's room for laughter.

four. writing. i couldn't stop writing if i tried. it's therapy. even when the words hurt, the benefits are enormous.

five. hanging. just chilling. doing not much of anything. but with the right people. mike is one. a significant one. but there are others. people who it's fun to be bored with. now that's a valuable friend.

six. shoes. i have never once uttered the words "do these shoes make me look fat?" happiness in a shoebox.

seven. presents. yeh, fuck it. i'll say it. getting presents is awesome. except when they're shit and i have to pretend they're great. that said, i honestly do find much happiness in giving presents as well. but only when i feel like i've nailed it.

eight. balance. between work and play, between busy and bored, between gym junkie and lazyface, between starving and glutinous, between pollyanna and eeyore. balance has been part of my life in short bursts but i'd like it to stick around. it's my pursuit of happiness.

nine. weddings. 'tis the season it seems with mike and i attending weddings left, right and centre. good thing i love them. it's just so nice to be part of such a special moment and i am a sucker for the whole love thing. plus, you get to play dressups and party without hitting the skanky city. even in my past life working in hospitality, i loved when the evening's function was a wedding reception. guests were generally very happy which was such a refreshing change from the corporate wanks we usually catered for.

ten. food. yeh, this could probably sit up there with coffee and red wine at number two but i didn't think of it then and now i need a number 10. i love food for flavour's sake. i am a sweet tooth but appreciate pretty much any flavour. although baby corn and beetroot can fuck right off. give me a tim tam slam any day. peanut butter on a spoon. mmm. and ice creeeeeeeeeeeeam. nomnomnom. mike's ah-maze-ing in the kitchen so i win there. but really, it's the sharing thing again.

so, a beautiful meal accompanied by a lovely red, shared with wonderful friends (including mike, of course) who all bring me presents and compliment me on my glorious shoes. add lots of laughter and perhaps some wedding talk. punctuate with perfectly prepared coffee and follow up with a blog post - well, that's happiness in a nutshell.

now, the second rule of the Happy 101 award is to pass it on to 10 bloggers. i am going to james dean that one because 10 is just too many. i will pay it forward though and i'm shooting it across to happy lan, a wonderful writer (among other things) whose blog deserves attention.

cheers, big ears.

i wish it was friday.

x