Tuesday, September 9, 2008

chivalry is alive and well

My how these are flying. Column 10. Not originally part of the equation but...things change.

The whole idea of this column was to present Townsville Bulletin readers with something heartfelt and honest. It’s been easy to sit down and write this column but much harder to hand over and allow to be published. But, true to my word, I have been honest and will continue to do so. That’s why, despite not being so sure I want to, I am about to tell you a little story.

I have just played the protagonist in the kind of scene you’d find in a Hollywood romantic comedy. For ease of relaying the tale, I’ll be played by Jessica Alba (thank you very much) and conveniently, Matthew McConaughey (hot!) has been cast as the male lead.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jessica. Jessica had just finished school and was off to Canberra for university. No sooner had she moved into her room on campus, had she met the man of her dreams. His name was Matthew, and he had moved in two doors down. Jessica and Matthew connected instantly and they became the best of friends.

Despite their bond, Jessica never felt confident enough to act on her feelings and the unrequited love broke her heart. As their university careers came to a close, and with a helping hand from a little alcohol, Jessica and Matthew finally hooked up. Jessica was elated. They would finally be together. But such dreams never came to fruition.

Enough was enough. Jessica would pine no longer. Not long after this decision, Jessica met Brad Pitt. They connected, mentally and physically, and spent the next six years together.

Fast forward to Jessica and Brad’s breakup. Jessica was devastated and called on the support of friends. These friends, including Matthew, were there for her unconditionally.

Home alone one night, Jessica heard an unexpected knock on the door. It was Matthew. After a phone call the night before, during which Jessica had burst into tears relaying her horrible day, Matthew had decided to drive the 11 hours from Sydney as a show of support. At least, that’s what he said on arrival.

After dinner and a few red wines, Matthew abruptly announced: “I have to tell you something. And you have to make me tell you.’’

Ahhh, okay. Go,” Jessica replied, a little confused but also amused by his unnatural awkwardness.

Matthew said nothing. Deep breath after deep breath, he was smiling, laughing but again, it wasn’t natural.

“Okay, hang on. Let me wee first,” Jessica piped up. She’d never been good at holding on and had a feeling this was going to take some time. In fact, she started to get an inkling for exactly what she was about to hear. She returned to the couch, a little nervous.

“Okay, okay, I just have to say it. Just let me speak. I just need to tell the whole story. I need to just say it all in one hit. Okay.’’

Long pause.

“I am completely and utterly in love with you and I have been since we met.”

Jessica’s jaw; floored. She was speechless, although that wasn’t an issue because Matthew really did intend to keep talking.

“I am an idiot for not telling you back then. I am actually embarrassed, ashamed. I can’t even explain it. I guess I was scared. I was 18 and wasn’t ready to be with the girl who knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was so clearly you. It has always been you. No one makes me feel the way you do. No one comes close.

“At the end of uni I had made the decision to tell you. I was standing at your door. I was about to knock and I panicked. It was ridiculous. My heart started beating so quickly, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t do it.

“The next day you introduced me to Brad. My heart sunk but I figured I would tell you as soon as you guys broke up. I have been feeling sick for the last six years. I have been convinced I had missed my chance. I have to take it now. I’m sorry. I have to. I love you. We are meant to be together.”

Jessica’s response? As they say in the classics, stay tuned.

1 comment:

Rick M said...

OMG. Tell me the rest of the story already. Like, right now. It reads like rainbows and lavender :)

Is there are mandatory Hollywood-esque style twist in this tale where romantic lead does something to stuff up his chances with you and then sets out on a journey lasting roughly the last 30 minutes of the movie to woo you back?

Because that would be cool.

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