I'm a bit behind the times but I finally decided to pic up the cult read Skinny Bitch.
Let me save you the same trouble.
"Become a vegan, you fat cow".
That pretty much sums it up.
I've decided to kindly decline the advice of authors Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, mostly because I have a life (but also because they're anti ice cream and that's just wrong).