Sweet 16. The conclusion. I knew one day I could get Bilbo back for being such a cow.
So, in conclusion…
We were always warned against concluding essays in this way at university. The problem was, whenever it came to summing up the previous 1000-ish words, oft plagiarised from out-of-date library books and random websites, I couldn’t get the phrase ‘in conclusion’ out of my head.
Right now I am trying to wrap up Suddenly Single. Four months. Fifteen columns. About 8000 words illustrating undoubtedly the most eventful period of my young life. Yes, young. I’m clinging to it.
It started with a break-up of grand proportions. It continued with a stint living back under my mum’s roof (at 26, ouch) and a reluctant career change. Then there was the cameo appearance by an exorbitantly-priced lawyer. Hmmm, is that a redundancy?
This fun little rough patch was followed by the decision to flee Australia and, after traipsing around South America, falling in love with snotty-nosed kids living in poverty and Latino men teaching me to salsa, I have landed in London where I intend to start from scratch.
What is the big appeal of stepping outside your comfort zone?
I don’t know why I am asking you. Firstly, you can’t answer and secondly, I am the one who has been all step-outside-my-comfort-zoney of late.
By definition, anywhere outside your comfort zone is an uncomfortable place to be.
And here I am in uncomfortable London. I am uncomfortably homeless and uncomfortably unemployed. It’s uncomfortably chilly and my once-healthy bank balance is uncomfortably low, getting lower, lower, lower…
Most uncomfortable of all: the distance between me and the people I love.
The funny thing is (not funny ha ha, funny lost a fridge), I feel better now than I did pre-column when the lifestyle trifecta – partner, home, job – was in the bag.
I guess that’s because all the decisions I face for me, and me alone, to be made. The problem is I am utterly indecisive.
I’m not sure yet whether I want to return to journalism or try on something less demanding and more conducive to the travel I intend to embark on. I am not sure yet whether I’m ready to call someone new my boyfriend or in need of a little more time in singleville. I’m not sure yet whether I want fries with that. My God, make up your mind woman.
On closer inspection, these choices (fries aside) are not really choices at all.
This is London. And if I hear the term credit crunch one more time I’m going to credit crunch your face. No, not yours. Yours. Anyway, I have a point and that was: jobs in London aren’t easy to come by at the best of times, let alone a job in journalism, double let alone amid such a financial climate.
Quick digression. I just used the word amid. This was also frowned upon at university. I hope Bilbo (the lecturer who thrived in hating sports media students) is reading while I’m throwing such caution to the wind. Look at me Bilbo, a real journalist. Bahahaha. Bahahahahahahaha. Bahahahahahahahaha…ahem.
As I was saying: London. Employment. Tough. Also, new boyfriend? To have or not to have? Ha. As if that’s such a simple decision. If it was, half the world’s single people would be married. Unhappily married, sure, but married all the same.
I’m scaring myself more with each letter typed. Must stop. I have a life to get on with.
So, in conclusion (read it and weep Bilbo), thanks for reading. Catch you on the flip side.