Wednesday, October 1, 2008

i liked you better in the funky bunch

i have just watched the funniest movie. oh, how i laughed. unfortunately for all involved, The Happening was billed as a drama slash mystery.

right now i cannot think of a worse movie. really, i can't, and i've seen dude, where's my car?

the script was abominable, the acting nothing short of deplorable and the ending: jaw-droppingly* woeful.

the plot? people start killing themselves. lots of people. why? we don't know. we were left uninformed for much of the movie as people throw themselves under lawn mowers or inside lion cages. it's simply terrible.

meanwhile, Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel are making a mockery of the acting industry. oh God, i don't even know how to illustrate how bad they were. there's lots of starring, furrowed brows, awkward dialogue. you have to laugh, otherwise you'd cry.

(You might have laughed, if you could read it. In pink: why, why did we agree to be in such a dumb arse movie? And, in blue: I don't know. Ask my mood ring. Bahaha. Bahahahaha. Bahaha. Ahhh, ah, yeh, lost in translation.)

probably the worst part (or the best part, depending on how you treat the experience) was the climax. from the writer and director who brought us arguably Hollywood's greatest twist courtesy of The Sixth Sense, comes the most pathetic attempt to tie the story together.


why were people killing themselves? it was the plants. they were taking their revenge on the human race by releasing some toxin into the air.

of course they were. der.

moreover, what's with the tiramisu? ffs.

please see this movie. we can laugh about it for eternity.

*making up words is fun

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