Monday, May 18, 2009

oh, to return to the land of nod

i haven't really been sleeping very well. it's been this way for a while now. it's infuriating. i have no idea how i can go to bed each night, with the minuscule amount of sleep i caught the night before, and feel so very awake.

last night i thought i would try counting sheep.

a sheep.

then i noticed that when i count sheep, they are jumping a fence. then i wondered whether they were supposed to be jumping a fence or whether i had just made that up. then i started wondering, if i had in fact made that up, what were the sheep supposed to be doing? just standing around in a paddock? eating grass? confusing young children learning about plurals?

then i realised that if my crazy brain continued to ponder the most insignificant of life's questions then i would probably NEVER GET ANOTHER GOD DAMN WINK OF SLEEP AGAIN. ahem.

shut up. i'm tired.


Mazz said...

And why is it sheep? Why not, for agruements sake, Norwahles? Sure, they can't jump over fences or even be on land but there's a variety of other things they could do which are just as sleep-inducing.

Siamese Saffron said...


This is starting to get weird... are we in a parallel universe? I've had sleeping problems all my life, and I run into the EXACT SAME ISSUE with the damn sheep. Well, not precisely about the fence, but I start to wonder why they're jumping in the first place. Would they be jumping at all if it was up to them? WHY ARE WE SO CRUEL TO ANIMALS? Oh god, are sheep being forced to jump, right now, as we speak? POOR SHEEP.

So anyway, I find just concentrating on breathing helps wonders. Failing that, there's always valium.

Rick M said...

Do people actually do this, count sheep? I just thought it was a clever device employed by Count Dracula and Sesame Street.

Oh, my hollow childhood.

"Confuse children learning about plurals" = GOLD.

Them and the fucking fish. said...

Yeah I have tried the counting sheep thing, but I always make them all different colours and then there is one that is too lazy and walks around the fence.... It doesn't help you go to sleep, but i like the idea about narwhals, not because I think that would make you go to sleep, but they are pretty sweet animals.

Kim said...

I think the fence is correct. I've never pictured them any other way. Just eating grass would get confusing. I think I'd count the same one twice. Or three times.

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