Wednesday, June 10, 2009

the end of this road, the start of a new one

i hope the new road is really pretty


it's important to me that even though my quest for a psychologist has come to a temporary halt, my progress doesn't.

a quick update on that whole psycho-nightmare. a new guy called. apologised on sophie's behalf. asked whether i understood what had happened.

"well, i'm confused, but i understand. sophie reckons she knows someone i know. that to continue our relationship would be a conflict of interest. i just find it really hard to believe. this is london, not wagga."

the wagga reference was lost on him. not surprising. he said they had one spot available. wednesdays at 10am.

"yeh, that's not going to work for me. i have a job."

"okay, well we'll have to put you on the waiting list so i'll give you a call on the 18th."

"you mean to say people wait for your diabolical service?" i thought to myself while actually saying: "yeh, actually it's probably not worth calling back. i'll be spending most of the next three months out of the country and then i'm going home to australia for good so there's not much point in trying to start over with someone new."

so, there you have my decision. rest assured i'll be picking up where i left off in oz. and i trust the land of sweeping planes will do a shitload better at providing the required service. although they also charge a shitload more. but you get what you pay for, right?

in the meantime, i'm sweet as. like i said on friday, after the tantrum, i am really excited about my future. i think that's because, for the first time, i am completely confident in my ability to change.

moreover, i have an appointment on july 6 which i imagine is going to help me a whole lot more than any psychologist could - no matter how experienced. i will divulge how i feel to the person who needs to hear it the most. he will accept it or reject it. either way, it will be released. it won't weigh me down anymore. i will finally be free of the pain i have stubbornly harboured for 22 years.

enough is enough.

ps: i hope the pain weighs two kilos. that would be a huge bonus. just in time for summer holidays!

3 comments:

Rick M said...

Oh missy moo, you fucking crack me up. Even when you're being delightfully therapeutic. Well done you, by the way. Well the fuck done. And despite your Euro odyssey, hurry home. I want to drink with you.

xxoo

PS: Dingler is my sign off today, definition: a tiny penis.

katyhelena said...

So proud that you are continuing to pursue progress and change for your best! I say a prayer for you as you start off on this new road. :)

Sass said...

talked about seeing therapist. talked about seeing therapist, again. made inquiries about different therapists. paused due to hesitation/embarrassment in hunt for therapist. talked about seeing therapist, again. actively sought therapist. went to therapist (of sorts). talked to therapist. cried infront of therapist. am slightly more enlightened, however working on being slightly less burdened. will seek new therapist overseas. Time span from story commencement, til now? 8 years.

Urge Jax to pursue with vigour.

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