Monday, September 14, 2009

carpe diem, carpe de words*

it's times like these i am reminded i really need to buy a notebook. i think my blog is partly to blame, but i forgive you camelshoes. it's just sometimes i want to write 'right this very second'. like now.

i felt exactly the same yesterday too which is why i asked the hostel i'm staying at for some scrap paper and a pen. i am currently** utilising both, cafe con leche to my left, the kite runner to my right, overlooking san sebastian's playa de la concha (on of its three stunning beaches).

it may seem silly, but to me, it's different writing the 'old fashioned' way. i like it. the words actually seem to flow a little better and i find an odd comfort in the rustic sight of my scribble. i don't look forward to typing the transfer but it's a small price to pay for the release of the words which time would otherwise forget.

so, the reason i wanted so much to put pen to paper has a lot to do with the picture i just painted. the coffee's almost gone but there will be a second cup because i am not ready to give this moment up. a moment punctuated minutes ago with a simple thought: 'how good is this?'

my body gave in to a wave of goosebumps. a tear or two, representing nothing but overwhelming contentment, welled as i absorbed my situation. soaking up sunshine in a stunning city, more than comfortable in my solitude but excited beyond my imagination, beyond words, by the life which awaits me in nine sleeps. NINE SLEEPS.

what a dramatic turn my life has taken. thanks heavily to the decision to 'get the fuck over it'. get over the bullshit that happened years ago. the bullshit i had stubbornly held onto, unwilling to forgive. bullshit that will continue to be a part of me, but will no longer define me.

emancipation.
am i josie alibrandi, or what?

*may not make actual sense.
**'currently' at the time of pen to paper, not typing. obviously.

6 comments:

Siamese Saffron said...

You're such a mystery, Oh Bardot.

jax said...

mystery to me too. walking contradiction

Fiona said...

How good is Kite Runner? Loved it.

Love that you're home soon too.

Paperback writer said...

favourite time to write - in fact only time i write is around sunset when travelling.. the sky at dusk, a good coffee/beer/cocktail, perfect moment for reflection and to accept how wonderfully charmed our lives really are!

Mike said...

I didn't know you were coming home soon. Gee, that's super exciting. Maybe we could catch up for a coffee at some point? If you're free, that is. I should be free anytime from now until around 2080? If that fits...

jax said...

coffee sounds good. i've got nothing planned.

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