Monday, February 21, 2011

the final draft


"I am selfish and impatient and I make mistakes,
I am out of control and at times hard to handle.
"But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

this post has been sitting in my drafts folder for more than six months. and the words underneath the quote, the words which have now been replaced by these ones, have been second guessed and re-written so, so many times.

i knew what i wanted to write. i wanted to write a huge, resolute "fuck yeh!".

i fell in love with this quote the moment i saw it. i fell in love with it because it hit home. and i really just wanted to post it on camelshoes because it empowered me.

and then my mind "unpowered" me. it's good like that.

i started wondering whether words such as these are just an excuse. an excuse to settle for the current you when there's quite probably a much better version - if you only tried to unveil it. then i worried that if i posted this quote, and followed up with a (hopefully more articulate version of) "fuck yeh!", people - or, let's be honest, one person in particular - might think i wasn't going to bother trying to be the best version of myself.

bad choice. above all, this is a space where i should be true to me.

it is true though. 'accept (love) me for who i am' is one thing but being a complete twat and falling back on that reasoning is another.

still, i hate why i started thinking that way when all i came here to say was "i fucking love this quote!"

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