Monday, April 5, 2010

look...words!

disclaimer: camelshoes lives. and will continue to do so in the foreseeable future.

i've been copping it from a few angles lately. the whole 'more-writing-on-camelshoes-please' thing. and i get it. there's been more pictures than words here lately and really, i am a words girl so it is odd.

mmm, to explain...

i've been busy, sure. living in this city is very time consuming. between work, the commute and my commitment to the gym (which is hugely important to me, it has to be) i've found myself with less spare time than ever before. add to the mix a boyfriend who lives 30 minutes away and a handful of must-see friends and time is so very precious.

but, ultimately, i don't really think it's a time thing.

i'm not quite sure how to explain it. i guess, completely subconsciously, i've found myself trying to abide by a 'less talk, more action' mantra.

i think long-time readers would agree, some of my best writing (here) has been inspired by some pretty low times. from somewhere, somehow, i found the courage last year to start using camelshoes as an emotional outlet and i was gobsmacked by the result. i received amazing support and mostly positive, entirely constructive feedback. best of all, it really was free therapy for me.

i finally had a place to let go of my thoughts. thoughts which, when bottled up, had been soul-destroying. thoughts i had been incapable of sharing vocally.

i can not believe the progress i've made during the past 12 months.

because of this, though, i don't have anywhere near as many dark moments. instead, i am busy doing things which make me smile.

oh, what a massive wank; i hear you cry. yeh, i know. but fuck it because it's true and it's awesome.

i most certainly still have low times. i imagine, like most of us, i always will. but i guess i am getting better at shaking things off which means writing about it feels less like a release and more like unnecessary dwelling.

as for the good times, the great times, the fun times: i prefer to keep living them than stop and write about them. plus, read back through my archives and you'll find i've never been one for 'today i did this, yesterday i did that' type blog posts. mostly because i can't imagine who would care. sure, there are plenty of people who don't care about my hurdle-laden search for a psychologist or tears shed over ex-boyf. but there are also those who've benefited from relating to my tales of crazy and that means a lot to me.

so, where does this leave us? i guess i am not sure but what i can tell you is:

i have no intention of putting camelshoes to bed.

i also have every intention of improving the words to pictures ratio. i am a writer and have plenty to say whether i am suffering or not.

like me, this blog is in a constant state of development. i love the idea that camelshoes is, in so many ways, a tangible tracker of my personal growth.

i really hope, whether i am happy or sad, talkative or photo-friendly, you continue to read and enjoy camelshoes because the support of every single reader and follower means more to me than i could ever tell you.

ps: no pictures, only words to mark this eleventy-fourth edition of blogtography mondays. as bartholemew j would say; 'the ironing is delicious'.

7 comments:

nel said...

hey,
I love this post :) I only just started following, but it's inspiring to hear you've come such a long way. Here's hoping it just keeps getting better! x.

bananas. said...

no bedtime for camelshoes...that's what i like to hear! haha.

good for you. be you. continue being you and do what you want!

Snoop Rang said...

Rocking ma world, dats for shizzle

alexis said...

i'm glad you're in a better place. and you're definitely right, crappy life=awesome writing. go out and live. just don't forget about us loyal readers.:)

jprp said...

awesome post! it's exactly how i feel sometimes!

camelshoes was the first blog I followed, promise i wont be one of those nasties that stop following!

keep up the great work, i love dropping by here, whether it be to read what youve said, or look at the pics you post! xx

kate said...

thanks all. some very nice words. means a lot. x

Luigi | Sales Sheets said...

I agree. Everything is a constant development. I know how life can be time consuming, but it's okay that we take it one step at a time.

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