Monday, November 1, 2010

making friends and influencing people

(as usual) in two minds about posting this. feel i need to get it off my chest. also feel that this post defeats the purpose of deleting the message (which you're about to read about) and trying to forget i ever read it. if this post goes missing at a later date, you know why.

i got a facebook message on friday. it was from a complete stranger. and, as far as i can tell, we don't have any friends in common either.

the subject line simply read "hi". the message?

"do you mean to come across as a pretentious dickhead on the internet?"

and that's it. that's all barry had to say.

a lack of alternatives suggests barry is referring to camelshoes.

i hate that barry's message was so hurtful. i hate that it made me rack my brain for possible pretentious posts. i hate that, for a moment, it made me wonder whether my online presence was worth the trouble.

but after the moment of drama i came to a pretty simple conclusion.

i don't believe i am pretentious. i don't believe camelshoes is pretentious. (although, if i am honest, i am sure both of us have had unintentional pretentious moments).

still, i would rather be pretentious than nasty and i think it's pretty nasty to seek out a complete stranger on the iternet just to make them feel low.

what about you. ever received hate mail?
does it get to you, or are you a water-off-a-duck's-back kind of person?

14 comments:

Rick M said...

Oh dear me. My blog under its previous guise received so much hate mail. I even had a Nazi forum set up on a pro-white Australia blog just to say wonderful (read: horrible) things about me.

I think the fact Barry tracked you down just to say that means he probably lives with a lot of cats.

Now I feel sad for Barry. But not for you, because you're awesome and those of us who know you are quite certain of that fact!

Also, I think pretentious is just another way of saying you have mad skills.

Therefore, Barry admires you. Well done Barry.

Megan Leslianne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nikita said...

I really don't know why people do it? What can they gain by making others unhappy? A little bit of happiness for themselves maybe... I hate to think how badly they need a life because they have enough time to find others and say such things to/about them.

I guess you can feel good about one thing though; that you were able to make someone happy! :)So what if someone derives their happiness by mocking others?

Karls said...

Dude! What a wanker... Why bother even wasting his time seeking you and typing that pathetic message out. I don't think your pretentious... I think you're lovely.

Danimezza said...

Barry... who the f is Barry?
I think Barry's jealous.
I've been in your shoes.
You're awesome x

Melissa @Suger Coat It said...

Mad, of course. This place is awesome.

I had to Google pretentious because I got myself all tied up and confused. Defined as an assumption of dignity or importance... Well derr, it's a PERSONAL blog.

Bugger off Barry.

My own personal Barry - http://sugercoatit.blogspot.com/2010/06/dear-unoriginal-uninteresting-troll.html

what if summer... said...

I've been called pretentious and condescending to my face. Afterward I generally scoff with as much self-righteousness as I can muster and then give them a condescending retort.

You can tell I care a lot.

There are other things that I do actually care about and that do hurt my feelings, and those are quite hard to get out of my mind. No matter who they come from.
If push comes to shove, what's the worst that could happen if that person was right? Couldn't really be an insult then. It'd be like someone seeking you out to berate you for saying the sky is blue.

And that's just embarrassing for that person.

Mental gymnastics can put you on top no matter what happens. Only thinking makes it so! ha ha Hamlet....

Debbie said...

I wish I didn't take things like that so personally but I do. I really feel that you should try to forget it even happened. People are so cruel and the internet allows them to be anonymous about it which makes it even worse. If you were pretentious, would any of us stay around?

PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

I think you're about as far from pretentious as humanly possible. I'm sure it's got nothing to do with your blog, but is just some weirdo sending random facebook messages (i had one once with a link to something - I just delete anyone I don't know).

Those of us who love and read your blog do so because we enjoy it. Those who troll? Sad individuals who are petty and vindictive - not because of you, but because of what's lacking in their life.

kate said...

thanks all. i have told myself most of these things too. after about 30 minutes of being quite upset i was able to see much more clearly.

hopefully for all the barrys out there there are a lot more ricks, megans, nikitas...you catch my drift :)

Jaclyn said...

barry can bugger off...don't even think about it another second!

Clare said...

Oh dear. CyberBarrying.
It sounds like Barry might have a serious condition called Douche Bag. Poor Barry.
Barry needs a hug. And a life, and some people and things in that life that make him feel good enough about himself that he doesn't have to seek out strangers online and try to make them feel bad in a cowardly yet totally pointless way.
Try not to let Barry get to you mate. Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person’s house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says ‘You’. After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Angela said...

Ignore it Kate and please don't stop posting! I always read your blog and I get a little sad when you haven't posted in a while.

leafi said...

Dear Kate,
You are not alone. I have in fact have a charming little folder in my Outlook entitled "Vitriol".
Not joking.

I would just take it as a compliment that they actually made the effort of tracking you down. I also agree with Rick - Barry = cats and lonely single life.

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